Thoughts of the Tide
by MrsEDarcy
Summary: Poseidon is of the eldest Olympians and everyone believes they know who he is. To some he's the annoying brother, to others the cool uncle, and to others the restless god of the seas. Of course he is all these things, but how exactly does one become themselves? While talking to his son, Poseidon gives the overview of his life, trying to explain why he is who he is. Slight Pothena.


**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO.**

* * *

The first memory I ever had was of my mother. She was a beautiful woman with dark hair and bright eyes, but before I got a closer look my father, a cruel looking man, took me from her arms and swallowed me whole.

I landed in his stomach somehow avoiding all its other occupants. There were three others there who I later learned were my three year old sister Hestia, two year old brother Hades, and one year old sister Demeter.

Hestia, I learned quickly, was our designated mother. She made us all clothes and kept the peace. It's not like she needed to, Hades and Demeter got along so well it was sickening; they were too similar I decided. She even looked like a busy mother with her red hair tied up in a hasty ponytail.

Hades had dark black hair and dark brown eyes with glowed gold when he was happy. How he could ever be happy in this dark depressing mucus covered place we called home I'd never know. He seemed quite content on most days actually, an odd sort of carefree like he knew this was going to be the best time of his life.

Demeter was a bossy blonde with hazel eyes. She liked to order me around because she was a year older. However she wasn't that intelligent, so I didn't really listen to her.

I was the baby for about a year, with black hair and green eyes or so they told me. I constantly tried to escape and failed miserably at it. I hated being stuck in one place, I wanted to stretch my legs and run free.

"Hestia," I said. "When I'm older no one's ever go to force me around."

She smiled at me. "That's good; when I'm older I'm not getting married."

"Why not?" I had always thought marriage was a good thing.

She sighed as if I was naïve. "They always turn out badly."

I could understand where she was coming from, but I thought there was no way we could make those mistakes, we would learn. "What if I married you?"

Hestia smiled politely, but I could tell it wasn't what she wanted.

Not long afterwards a fifth member joined our little party. Her name was Hera. She was the most obnoxious person I had ever met. She was the most conventionally pretty with her rounded face, dark, rust colored hair, and violet eyes. However she wasn't my type, she spent the first two months doing nothing but complaining about how the horrible living conditions weren't up to her standards.

Needless to say I wasn't to upset when a rock landed on her head a year later. I turns out that was supposed to be our brother Zeus; he was always the lucky one.

We were stuck there for two more decades before Father finally threw us up.

* * *

Standing before us was a dark haired boy with grey eyes. He was slightly shorter than me and talked in a manic manner. He was reciting some dramatic story of how we were going to defeat the Titans and his companion, a very beautiful brunette, merely shushed him.

"Zeus, we mustn't forget about your siblings. We need their cooperation."

He looked mildly peeved at being interrupted, but he allowed her to continue. "We have released the Cyclopes and the 'Hundred Handed-Ones' from Tartarus with the help of Gaia. They are assisting us in the fight; also some of the Titans like my father Oceanus are staying neutral so they shouldn't pose a problem."

I shifted uncomfortably as she spoke, oddly aware of my current situation. I was wearing ratty clothes covered in mucus. Metis, that was her name, smiled at us politely but my brother was standing there in disgust.

The Cyclopes had apparently made weapons, and later would be discredited by certain monsters. Hades, Zeus and I went down to check them out. I was immediately drawn to the trident. "What does this do?"

The eldest looked at me like no one had ever talked to him like that before. "That controls water, making two thirds of the world under your command, at least for as long as the war is going on," he eventually said.

"Kind of like Metis does?" I asked ignoring the strange looks I was getting from Zeus.

The Cyclops laughed. "You would be able to do so much more."

"Like?"

"Imagine being able to manipulate the Earth's very crust and everything on it to your will. You could cause earthquakes, sink ships, start storms, and create whatever you want out of the very ocean itself."

I smiled. "This is it, you guys situated?"

Zeus nodded. He had picked out some sort lightning bolt, flashy like him I suppose. Hades however was still examining a helmet. "What does this even do?"

"It allows you blend in with the darkness, become completely invisible."

He picked it up. "Would it help me hide from Hera?" I gave him a smile for that. They nodded. "Then I'll take it."

Our younger brother frowned. "What's so wrong about Hera? She's pretty. I mean Demeter's kind of cute too…"

"You are engaged to Metis brother. Let's just hurry up and win this thing."

So we fought, we fought for years until we won. Then we decided to draw lots to find out who would get what role. Honestly, I didn't want to give up my control of the sea, but if I had to see one more of Zeus's laser light shows when he should have been fighting our evil family I think I would break the world in half.

However I guess fate was partially on my side that day. Because nothing changed, I was made god of the sea, Zeus was made god of the sky, and Hades became god of the Underworld.

Zeus and Metis got married and she seemed happy. I couldn't bear to tell her he was cheating on her. My brother was an idiot. Then she announced that she was pregnant and all Hades broke loose. Gaia gave Zeus a prophecy that Metis would bear a son who would overthrow him. So he took precautions and swallowed her whole.

I'm sad to say I forgot about her. I married her sister Amphitrite and we were…we were content, I suppose. I didn't love her, but Oceanus was getting restless and I was trying to appease him anyway I could.

We lived with Triton, our son, who had a wonderful girl named Pallas. I spoiled her silly; she was my granddaughter after all.

* * *

However about twenty years after Metis disappeared, something strange happened. It wasn't like the times Zeus and Hera fought or threw their son Hephaestus off a mountain. Zeus was wailing in pain and I was fed up; he was such a drama queen. I made it up there just in time to see Hephaestus use an axe to chop open his skull.

Out stepped the most beautiful person I had ever seen. She was fully decked out in battle armor, but she reminded me of Aphrodite's doves, gentle and peaceful. I smiled almost immediately, she had her father's coloring but she resembled her mother in many ways.

She became Pallas's best friend and we ended up spending a lot of time together. We got along really well. "You're father is going to kill me!" She arched her brow. "We don't need to have a meeting every other day!"

Athena laughed and her grey eyes shown. "Get over it, he means well."

"He's an idiot." She nodded in agreement. My brother may have been more book learned than me, but he completely lacked common sense.

"Of course, I think that must run in your family."

I pretended to be offended. "Rude."

She laughed and handed me a little figurine. "What do you think?"

"It looks exactly like me!" I examined it closer, it really was remarkable. "Thee you've got talent."

"Well you said you wanted a new statue in your palace right? When you get down there this should expand."

I smiled. "It's perfect." Then on a complete, stupid whim, I leaned in and kissed her.

It was a brief meeting of the lips lasting for only about five seconds, but I swore the entire world imploded at that moment.

Athena pulled back trying to hide her smile, because she knew what I knew; I was married, this was stupid.

Then the accident happened. I don't know the exact story, but somehow she accidentally killed Pallas. And I blew up at her. We had a fight and I…I…I don't know what I did, but she ran off and the next thing I knew she had taken a maiden vow like Artemis and Hestia had. I don't know why it affected me, but I got angry at her for it and we started fighting.

* * *

I don't know when I started cheating on Amphitrite. I think it all had something to do with Aphrodite's stupid girdle. I fell for her because of that, and when I broke up with her I think she cursed me.

I started going around, going through women almost as fast as Zeus was. I was searching for some sort of spark. However it turns out, I had horrible luck when it came to women, they either left me or turned out to be horrible people.

The closest I ever got to a spark was Medusa. She was a brunette with beautiful mocha skin who just so happened to be a priestess of Athena.

I don't know why I kept getting close to Athena. We fought constantly. We never got along; however I kept throwing myself in her path like an idiot. Even when we stopped being worshipped I still ran around looking for that special spark-the one she made me feel, but I couldn't get those haunting grey eyes out of my mind.

I spent thousands of years searching and just as much of that time fighting with Athena. There were those times when I wanted to just cup her face in my hands a kiss her in the middle of our fights. Just to prove to myself that this spark didn't exist and I could go back to my…marriage. That's what I wanted, right? To be a good husband?

I did want to be a good husband, but I just…wasn't sure that I wanted Amphitrite to be my wife.

I searched fruitlessly in each of the new countries. Every time I got close to finding it, whatever I had was ripped out of my hands like some sort of cruel joke. So when Zeus demanded that we all stop having children in order to prevent more wars, I agreed without a second thought. It was pointless anyway.

Then, I thought I found what I had searched so long for. Your mother was the closest to perfect a mortal's ever been. She was an intelligent woman with a rebellious streak. She refused any help I tried to provide her, but that made me fall in love with her faster.

But now, looking back…I don't think I ever really loved her. I think I loved the person she reminded me of. I would never wish you away my son, but sometimes I wish this had gone differently. I wish I had gotten the guts to divorce Amphitrite earlier and risked my life in asking Athena out.

You and Annabeth were and still are so, in love. I was jealous, but I kept it to myself. I went out of my way to be kind to Annabeth, a sort of way to recommend myself to her mother I suppose.

When the Giant War was going on and we were switching between our Roman and Greek forms at random, I found my worst nightmare. The thing that shocked me into reality and made me realize something.

I had a splitting head ache, but I could focus somewhat. I had managed to stay in my Greek form, but Athena couldn't.

The girl she became scared the living daylights out of me. Instead of being the strong, confident Athena I knew, she was a bitter woman who had nothing but rage in her eyes. She wasn't a warrior, she was a woman stripped of everything she identified with.

The way she ranted, I swore she had gone of her rocker. But, I couldn't look away. I watched as she went through the motions and became…the last person I ever want to see.

* * *

I ran out of Olympus as fast as I could. Down in my castle, Amphitrite wasn't having any problems. She was ranting about something and I just broke.

"Amphitrite! Shut it! Do you really think I have time for this?"

She looked offended. "This place is a mess!"

"Why do you think it's a mess? It's not like last summer my son saved the freaking world is it?"

She snarled. "Don't mention that boy."

"He's my son. You don't seem to get that. I love him."

"I'm your wife! I always come first!"

I stood up. "I don't love you." I picked the stupid statue of me Athena had made out of my pocket; I had never actually expanded it, instead I had kept in my pocket for a these years. "I only married you to get your dad off my back. I guess that didn't work did it? He still attacked us."

"What are you saying?" she demanded.

"I…I don't want to be married to you anymore."

"What?"

I sighed. "I don't love you. I have nothing stopping me from finding…finding what I need."

"I've out stayed my usefulness?" she asked. "I'm not surprised." I arched my brow at that. "Athena made that, right?"

I nodded; Athena had made it, my Athena, not that stupid Roman copy. My Athena? I shook the idea from my head.

"Why did you never throw it away?" I looked at it. I hadn't a clue why, but Amphitrite's eyes lit up. "Poseidon? I'll look into that divorce." She started to walk out the door, but she paused. "Don't break my niece's heart. Ok?"

I didn't even bother to ask her what she meant.

* * *

About a week after the Giant War, I went up to Athena. She looked normal now; in fact she looked just a bit more peaceful than I had ever seen her. She had her black curly hair pulled back into ponytail and I don't think she ever she looked better, though she did look quite tired.

"I'm getting tired of these wars."

She looked up in surprise, but she nodded in agreement. "The kids deserve down time."

"I've never seen anyone handle this much before. I thought modern times would be easier for kids. They wouldn't have to worry, guess I was wrong."

She laughed a little, but she still had a tired look in her grey eyes. That wouldn't stop her from having a snappy comeback. "When on earth aren't you?"

I laughed. "Not too often."

"I hope Father has realized his mistake."

"Does he ever? No I think he is quite stubborn, not unlike some others of this family."

Athena sighed. "I'm not proud of how stubborn I am. I'm sorry." She scooted a little closer as if to show her appreciation for me.

"What for?" I shifted to make myself slightly more comfortable ending up even closer to her.

"For blaming you for the Medusa incident," she clarified. "Aphrodite admitted everything was her fault. She had made you fall in love against your own will. Not to mention she was psychotic, not even you have that bad of taste in women"

I sheepishly added, "However it was still stupid of me to meet her at your temple."

She shrugged. "People do really idiotic things when they are in love."

"I thought you didn't believe in love?"

She blushed a little. "It seems I was wrong."

I let out a low whistle. "That doesn't happen often."

Athena sighed and looked at me. "Neither does this. You know, us talking peacefully."

"True, it should though."

She nodded. "Well we're talking now, why don't we do this all the time?"

"Thee?" She looked up surprised, I never called her that. "Would you be mad if I told you I didn't want to talk right now?"

"What?" Instead of speaking I grabbed her face and ran my thumb along her jaw line.

"Could I?" She nodded and her lips parted slightly. I leaned in and kissed her, she wrapped her fingers in my hair and I pulled her closer to me. I felt the spark rush through my veins. I figured Athena must have felt it to because her kisses were becoming more feverish by the second.

Within a minute she was sitting on my lap undoing the buttons on my collar, something I had never expected out of the typically calm maiden goddess. "Thee?" I pulled away gently. "You okay? That's…very unlike you."

Athena's face turned dark red. "I…I guess hormones got the best of me." She smiled sheepishly shifting in my lap just a little. "I should move before someone else comes by."

"Yeah," I said somewhat disappointedly. "But Thee…I wouldn't mind doing this again." She stopped halfway through her move and sat back down in my lap.

"Are you asking me out?" she asked gently.

I smiled sheepishly, "Maybe."

She laughed, and by the gods did she have a beautiful laugh. "I don't think my father would approve. However, I'll admit I never was one to follow his whims."

"How about we go dancing?"

She looked pleasantly surprised. "You dance?"

"And sing a little, I do get bored sometimes. I know a place where we could do just that and get some pretty good Italian food while we're at it."

She touched her chin in thought, though she smiled while she was doing it. "Well I really don't know if I should be going out with a married man. I wouldn't want to ruin my reputation." I helpfully informed her that I had divorced Amphitrite already. "Well, I guess that only means one thing. We must seal the deal with a kiss," she smiled shyly, "perhaps several…"

I smiled gleefully. "That can be arranged. Who should I kiss?"

"I'm not even going to answer you."

"You just did," I pointed out.

She gave me a look. "Would you prefer me to just reject you instead?"

I pouted. "No ma'am. I'll behave."

"Somehow, I sincerely doubt that." To illustrate her point, I began to kiss her pulse point and the rest of her neck somewhat roughly. She made a soft sound. "Poseidon! Stop it."

I pulled back slightly. "Shh, do you want someone to hear?"

"Too late," somebody else giggled. My face was aflame and so was hers. Aphrodite was standing there smiling like an evil mastermind.

Athena virtually jumped off my lap and started fixing her clothes and hair all while keeping a glare focused on the love goddess. "Aphrodite," I said. "Just go."

"But you two are so cute! I mean you built up enough UST, that's for sure."

"What?" I asked.

She laughed like I was an idiot, something Athena did quite often, but it always seemed a lot cuter when she did. I just felt insulted by Aphrodite. "Unresolved sexual tension, when two people are meant to be together, but refuse to become a couple basically."

"Would you just leave and forget this ever happened?" Athena asked, even though it sounded more like a threat to me.

The blonde frowned."But I need to develop the pictures first!"

Athena looked slightly murderous. "You took photos?" Aphrodite nodded happily. "You have until I count down to one, to run and hide and hope I don't find you."

However before she could begin to count a loud, annoying voice echoed throughout Olympus. "Poseidon!"

I groaned. "You didn't happen to send them to anyone did you?"

"Yes, Apollo. He owes me two hundred drachmas now."

The voice piped up again. "You too, Athena. Both of you to the throne room now!"

"Want to go to the beach instead?" I offered her with a smile.

She rolled her eyes and pulled me along.

* * *

I was quite surprised when she didn't let go of my hand when we got there. In fact if anything her grip grew tighter, as if she was drawing on me to help her. I was just hoping my shirt wasn't too far unbuttoned.

My brother sat there on his throne looking more like a five year old than he ever had before. "Poseidon?" He fumed. "What's the meaning of this?"

"Meaning of what brother? You seem rather out of sorts today."

His grey eyes flashed menacingly, "This thing, with my daughter! Stay away from her!"

I feigned a yawn, "Don't really feel like it. We were going to have dinner sometime soon. You just interrupted our little planning session; I don't know what you're accomplishing by this other than delaying our date slightly."

"Planning session? More like make-out session, I saw the photos!" He looked at Athena. "I'm ashamed of you."

Athena shot him a questioning glance. "You think that saying no would stop us?" Zeus nodded, obviously shocked that she was speaking to him in this manner. "It wouldn't, you know. I am plenty old enough to make my decisions and currently they just so happen to include dating Poseidon. Persephone is married to Hades, is this really that big of a burden?"

"But I did that to shut him up! He wouldn't stop going on about how lonely and depressing the Underworld was!"

I nodded. "It is. Not that you would know considering you never visit him."

Zeus sputtered, "But, please Athena, don't…"

"Father," she said calmly, "if you are worried that my loyalties will be divided, they will not be. I don't act rashly Father, you know this, I do what is best for us all."

He scoffed, "You always think rashly when it comes to Poseidon. Remember the time you started the impressionist movement because he told you that you couldn't paint?"

Athena sighed. "The point is, that I'm not going to take sides in your fights, at least not petty ones. It also means that I will side against you if the other is morally correct. Do you understand?"

Zeus sighed. "Yes, daughter." I laughed a bit at the resigned face he made, like he was used to being reasoned with by his favorite child. She gave me a look.

"C'mon Athena you know that look doesn't scare me." She rolled her eyes and I just stroked my thumb along her palm. "If anything," I admitted as I touched the back of my neck awkwardly, "it's kind of hot."

My brother's face turned red. And Athena laughed slightly, "What?"

I shrugged. "Who doesn't want a girl who could take him in a fight?" I ignored my brother who awkwardly raised his hand in the background.

"You know you could just drench me in water, right?"

I blushed, "Well you wear white a lot, so it would be inappropriate…and a bit distracting."

"You two! Go now, before you shove your tongues into each other's throats again!" Zeus looked completely green.

I laughed a little. "C'mon, let's get some dinner."

Athena laughed and pulled me out of the throne room. Soon we went on a long chain of dates, and eventually when we got extremely serious we decided to tell our children. It was my idea because, well honestly I wanted to propose to her, and I wanted to get the official seal of approval.

She looked at me incredulously and asked me what exactly I was doing. When I told her, she laughed. "We're immortal, who cares if they don't like it?"

"I do."

She laughed, but to tell you the truth it didn't calm me down. Do you understand that, son?

I love her, I need her. You understand?

Please Percy, tell me you understand. Wish me good luck?

* * *

**A/N: Edited! Fixed some continuity errors.**

**I don't know what you guys think, but I decided to give Poseidon a long back story. I find it weird to write from his perspective though.**

**Tell me what you think.**


End file.
